Comment by 999900000999 | Hacker News Reader

Comment by 999900000999 | Hacker News Reader

Social mobility is a very tricky thing. I think every person can succeed as long as they have the courage to cut off people who are counterproductive to that. For example, when I look at my own parents, they're simply self-destructive people who never took responsibility for any of their actions. Whenever I've needed to depend on anyone in my family. I've ultimately been let down, but when it comes to my own efforts. You know I got my own apartment when I was 19, and I've made six figures, despite a family member screwing me out of finishing college, by the time I was 25. It's very hard to cut off your own family though, but whatever situation your parents are in, that's the situation they're in. I did make the mistake of trying to save my family members, and it was a very costly mistake.

They were perfectly fine with ruining the life I built for myself, up until I blocked most of them and just moved to a different city. Work hard and cut off lazy people. Don't get involved of anyone who doesn't want to work, outside of laziness being disgusting upon itself, these people tend to cause unlimited drama. A person who's finishing up their PhD, while working full time doesn't have time to cause problems. Someone who's 28 or 29 and still doesn't work has plenty of problem causing time.

Once you understand this, and just to add, make sure if you're having trouble finding the right type of people where you live, you consider moving. I'm from LA, I've had so many strange situations created by people who I've alluded to above. The moment I left LA, I had a fantastic partner, and I've never had someone try to put me in a volatile situation since.

All of this sad, I've been very lucky. Medical conditions I'd be screwed. All it takes is a single severe medical condition to financially ruin you, and then you can't afford treatment, in this country says good luck try a go fund me

Well said. Drama is a time and attention suck - away from not only productivity, but time spent where you could be doing things that make you actually happy, which in turn, generally, makes you a more productive person with a desire to 'do things' rather than sit and fucking mope.

Gossip, drama, lifestyle comparison, it's a recipe for failure (which is what social media supposedly encourages). I'm not any kind of benchmark for career-ambitious productivity, but there are things I like to do and personal goals I have in mind that allow me to surf on top of the "everywhere, all the time" human emotional whirlpool that would be very easy to get sucked into, thus saying goodbye to the 'who' and the 'where' I'm aiming at. Happy to listen to people who come to me for a sympathetic ear, but I'm not taking on your shit, mainly because I'd never ask you to take on mine.

Not sure if this captures it properly, but: The more you macro, the less you micro.

(I've had one semi-significant medical issue, but Australian private healthcare saved me from any severe recalculation of life priorities. I'm very thankful that I'm a generally healthy person).

Lucky you for having a decent medical system, I consider myself to be exceptionally privileged. Which I can pay, at least to me a relatively small amount of money to treat. But if I was living paycheck to paycheck, I might not be able to afford my medication, and I can literally die due to not being able to afford my medication.

Medical expenses are the single worse thing about American life, so many of us end up skipping medicines that we need. And these medicines are relatively inexpensive, maybe three or $400 a month. But when you can't afford it you can't afford it, and then say you have a heart attack and you end up in the hospital. Then you're in debt for 30 or $40,000, and you'll never escape.

I'm looking to potentially immigrate to Europe in the near future, I'm very tired of this American Life of struggle.

The best I can do is say good luck! Australia's medical system is pretty good, but private health doesn't feel cheap. If / When you're planning to move, check out both Australia and New Zealand as options.

How hard is it getting a work visa. I had a recruiter out of Ireland reach out to me recently. I have many stories about the American health Care system which I simply don't share, but I don't think a dystopian novelist from the 1950s could imagine what the hell we have today.

What's the best way to get a CS job in Australian or New Zealand

> All of this sad, I've been very lucky. Medical conditions I'd be screwed. All it takes is a single severe medical condition to financially ruin you, and then you can't afford treatment, in this country says good luck try a go fund me

Then not every person.

The American system greatly adds roadblocks. There are many reasons besides personal medical conditions that your work hard mentality would have been irrelevant or completely out of reach.

No matter how hard you work, a serious medical condition can ruin it all. This happens to many people

It's also not possible for everyone to succeed since it's a zero sum game. Therefore, you should be thanking the people who's life circumstances prevent them from learning to succeed and doubly you should thank your parents for raising you in a way that you were able to surpass them.

How is it a zero sum game? I see this said a lot here without any proof? It this just taken as true and no proof is needed?

By the definition of 'social mobility'. That's how quantiles work.

> it's a zero sum game

I’m not an economist, but I don’t think it’s a zero sum game considering the total productivity / economic output of a society can go up (or down). Your success doesn’t need to be at the expense of someone else’s success.

> you should be thanking the people who's life circumstances prevent them from learning to succeed

What?

> What?

What?

Half of the population earn less than the median income. How can we make more than half earn above median?

My childhood was a living hell because my parents don't want to work or do anything. I went through multiple evictions by the time I was 19, I consider myself exceptionally lucky that I was able to afford my first apartment at 19 years old because otherwise I don't think I'd still be here.

At the same time, I've met tons of adults who were in their '30s whose parents never just said no. Their parents never said you need to figure it out, get the hell out of my house. I got kicked out for the first time when I was 15, and then I went through an eviction about a year and a half later when I was 17, so I'm very well aware that every single day I need to work hard. I need to work so hard so I'll never go through an affection again.

No one should have to go through that, my condolences to you for your lost childhood. I am glad to hear that you have succeeded inspite of your hardship.

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