Ask HN: How do you deal with hobbies, etc., when you have diagnosed depression?

I was plagued by anxiety and negative thinking for twenty years. I could barely make eye contact with people. It wasn't until I started praying to God as best I understood him to be with as few words as possible, focusing on listening for the minutes and days to follow, that I was led to answers that cured everything in a matter of days.

This is common for addictions too. I define an addiction as a state of mind where you don't want to stop. You can't will your way out of it, and you won't take actions to avoid it either. And then the self hate further drains your willpower to the point that you can't muster the will to change. Depression is similar, it's an oddly painful but comfortable feeling, like being in a blanket in freezing weather.

I think the Twelve Step Program is too many steps. The key is probably just admitting that you are powerless to change, and requesting that a higher power guides you. Something in that process clears the deadlock.

Some advice about anti-depressants.

It takes a few weeks for anti-depressants to work. Also, you will probably need to vary the dose or try a few different meds. You should check in with your doc maybe three or four weeks in and increase the dose if it isn't working. The general effect that anti-depressants have is similar in most people but people experience different side effects so "best practice" involves keeping in touch with your doc and trying a few things until you find a good fit. This one works better than most others

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Venlafaxine

but I can't tolerate it because it makes my blood pressure go to 200/130. After a few years my doc suggested I stopped taking them, and tapered gradually. Depression and anxiety haven't dominated my life since then but I certainly did have some incidents like the day I couldn't stand the mess in the house, yelled at everyone in the family, and I got 40,000 steps cleaning without leaving the house. And that time I read a Robert Greene book, broke my gym bag hauling home most of the references home from the library, put it into practice, and got into some real misadventures.

Physical exercise, particularly cardio, is great by itself or as an adjunct to other treatment. When I was suffering from depression and unemployed I was doing two hours of cardio most days and it helped me get through. That's the kind of workload people do when they are training for a marathon and it might be too much for most people. Around 45 min to 1 hour you get a burst of endorphins which is powerful.

Some people find socializing with people is more satisfying than doing solitary things. I'm the other way, but instead of pushing yourself to do solitary things you should try to do more things with other people if that works for you.

Actually my med doctor changed my meds from Escitalopram to Venlafaxine.

My problem is i can't convince myself to do anything other than stay in bed and rot, besides going out. In terms of activities i'm 95% outside and 5% inside. For example i found that i like studying around others, but when i'm attempting to do just that my brain starts the same routine "This is pointless. You won't go far", etc, etc. Even when i have to do activities with others my brain tries to convince me to go home (or stay home if i'm already there) and stay in bed.

I used to run, and i like running (paradoxically enough) but like everything else i can't convince my self to make it a habit even when i want to.

It's hard. I'm not consistent but when running daily, anhedonia will depart after 6 to 8 weeks. The first 2 to 4 weeks getting fit is a slog.

The right antidepressant also will make you feel normal but doing exercise or tasks, if the antidepressant is working, it can help dismiss negative thoughts (with conscious effort around your thought patterns)

If you have those negative thoughts enter your mind, you need to practice "not engaging" and clear your mind. Look into mindfulness or guided meditation. It'll take a fair bit of practice but it is very helpful.

"This is pointless. You won't go far" is an emotional response. If you can work on your thought pattern, shift it to "This may seem pointless but I am going to challenge myself, this short term task will lead to xyz goal."

It is hard though and I understand where you are coming from.

Last thing, avoid dopamine traps. Doom scrolling social media or any repetitive trap that feels good but is bad in long run. These give temporary satisfaction and ongoing term cost.

I started to realize that, I've been depressed and anxious for so long that i don't know how to function in my daily life.

Do you lift bro? Every time I look in the mirror, which is a lot, I'm blown away by how good I look. It's literally impossible to be depressed. If you have some spaghetti-ass arms and a nerd neck it's only gonna get worse bro. You'll probably look like Quasimodo in a few years.

Sleep schedule is important as is sleep hygiene. Going to bed late and staying in bed is not good. I understand the biological reality of depression makes getting out of bed difficult but force yourself up. Sunlight early in the day is good. Go for walks. Exercise is helpful. Avoid bad habits. You know what they are. It takes time for meds to work; give it a month at least. Good luck.

Once I fell in dark depths of depression. Everything lost meaning and I just wanted to stay in bed.

Eventually, I came out of it on my own. I think following things helped:

1. I would cry out loud and pray. I am almost atheist but praying really helped. Almost every morning I needed to cry like a child and pray before getting out of the bed.

2. I didn’t quit my job. Really wanted to. This gave me a reason to get out of bed.

3. Music. I would listen to sad songs and cry out loud with them. Sometimes, I would cry for couple of hours before going to sleep.

4. Tried to not bailout of social situations but I did cut it a lot. It was very hard to put a fake smile.

5. Read a little about CBT and tried to unravel my thoughts.

I don’t remember how and when I got out of depression but I still suffer from anxiety. However, my depression is completely gone and I am a happy person now.

Being a night owl has its downsides. See if you have to sleep in tune with your natural circadian rhythms.

Look for work that doesn't stress you out, lets you have a schedule that you can stick to over time, and still provides you with some kind of income. Studying for your degree should be your long-term goal.

Stay away from social settings that may give you an initial boost but have after-effects and leave you feeling anxious, down, or depressed.

Engage in some physical activity that could help you regain your mental health. Looks like you can overcome your problems through sheer willpower alone.

Sorry I must dash away now!

My experience:

1) scared of taking meds (this was very hard to overcome, but a doctor friend's reassurance helped me make that leap) 2) continuing to take them even when they don't seem to help much in first few weeks. (this was hard too) 3) the improvements were gradual, but the darkness ended for me about 4 weeks in. 4) kept regular touch with my doctor to see if adjustment was needed 5) 10 years on, darkness rarely return.

Hope this helps.

When i started to take medication before my med doctor changed them to the current one, i was terrified about side-effects and i pushed and pushed my desire to start them. But then one day i said "Enough. I can't continue living like this. I prefer the side-effects over this shit" and i started taking them, but sadly they didn't work.

Yeah, the science is not quite as mature yet. Some trial-and-error involved.

Do things that give you energy, not things that takes energy away. Just find something the sparks joy, and double (treble?) down on that if you can.

"If you don’t have a plan, you become part of somebody else’s plan - Terence McKenna"

A book that made a big difference in my life was feeling great by David Burns.

If you don't feel up to reading that either I understand.

Life has a lot of chapters. It won't always feel the way it does right now.

Hang in there friend.