I'm not mad, I've still got my keys from 2014-ish. I only made a Coinbase account after a finance teacher in high school heard that I dabbled in crypto, and bet that he could build a better-yielding portfolio than I could. I logged onto Coinbase, spun up an account with $20 in it, and invested in Chainlink and Ether. Nowadays it's worth ~350 dollarydoos, which isn't absolutely necessary to retrieve. Honestly, it was worth it just to watch his enthusiasm crumble when his 30% APR high-risk portfolio paled in comparison to some dumbass high-schooler's prediction.

What about people who are not US citizens?