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Comment by alex_smart | Hacker News Reader

It is part of the process of learning the dance form itself. Even in something like sensual bachata, you learn which parts of the body are "safe" and which are not. For example, upper back okay lower back not.

In Kizomba, the partners are pretty much always in a pretty close embrace. Kizomba is impossible to lead without a contact at lower ribcage/upper belly with the partner. In any other setting, this would be a pretty intimate position, but in Kizomba it is not. Learning to be comfortable with it is part of learning Kizomba.

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In my swing club in grad school we once had a Balboa lesson. The instructor used me to demonstrate, and the way she taught it, the dancers basically mash their hips together and bounce rapidly -- like 3 times a second. It felt designed by rabbits. I was embarrassed but everyone seemed to think we looked cool.

Was the instructor a working professional or another undergraduate or graduate student?

How comfortable were you in general when it came to Swing?

I think she was an undergraduate.

If you mean skill, I was one of the better dance students, okay at everything and excellent at a few things. If you mean emotionally, I enjoyed it a lot, even when I felt clueless.

>How comfortable were you in general when it came to Swing?

Somewhat unrelated experience, but Kizomba also involves a close embrace with a contact at chest/belly and it feels somewhat uncomfortable/risque at first. But as you learn the dance, you have to really concentrate on maintaining the frame so as to be able to lead and follow correctly, and the whole thing feels in fact quite meditative and not sexual at all.

That doesn't sound quite like the Balboa I was taught, where the contact is at the top of the chest (and along the arms and hands of course) and the partners are slightly offset to the side to avoid shin kicking and toe trampling. As you say, the footwork is very rapid and the hold is close - perfect for fast tunes and crowded dancefloors - but no hip mashing that I recall.

We were slightly offset, yes; her foot fell between mine, and vice versa.

Agreed, I had learned it as basically a continuous hug, still really close chest to chest and not something that everyone was comfortable with.

I've only done International Standard, Smooth, Rhythm, and Latin dances and their American variations, but I don't recall doing Bachata and I've only learned about Kizomba as a result of this thread. With that said, I know of the obvious cases of where and how not to touch. It's other elements like hand pressure, control, silent looks, etc. the confluence of which constitute a "carnal communication" that I never fully comprehended when I still did ballroom dancing. If you have any information on what I'm trying to describe, I would be appreciative.

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