Math notation is not math, any more than music notation is music. Notably, the Beatles couldn't read sheet music, and it didn't hold them back.
The best comparison would be is reading someone else's computer code. At its best computer code is poetry, and the most gifted programmers learn quickly by reading code. Still, let's be honest: Reading other people's code is generally a wretched "Please! Just kill me now!" experience.
Once you realize math is the same, it's not about you, you can pick your way forward with realistic expectations.