Friend Groups
nayafia.substack.com
nayafia.substack.com
I just want to highlight this sentiment, it seems deeply correct to me. I also think that learning or creating with others is a surefire way to deeper and more meaningful emotional connection; it's certainly a dimension of friendship that I've paid insufficient attention to--in large part because it absolutely requires a more regular and sustained commitment than simply having a get-together every once in a while.
I am surprised this is rare in the Valley; very much common among folks in South Asia starting up medium to small scale business.
This is indeed true, and acrimonious splits aren't that uncommon, but folks also tend to move on, seek other partnerships and look to do better than before.
YES! I had this sentiment as a kid. I do at least now see some friends who have purchased houses on the same street and all hang out together. But now that I'm in SF Bay area I crave leaving...
... yet I think the reason people don't do it as urban 20-somethings is that currently its very hard for these types of people to actually move to the countryside. I went from being one of those people to being a 30 something tech worker who talks about leaving silicon valley constantly never does. Most of us stay because homeostasis is very strong. Now the discussions are "If we leave, will there be good sushi... blah blah blah blah blah" will there be this will be there that, I like it here, we'll miss this.
Here I am, but I can't help feeling I'm left holding the bag.
Those are not just different ways of looking at the same thing, they will actually result in different business strategy. For example, if your friends are just a tool to make you money, you will gladly replace them later with someone more productive. But if the business is just a tool to spend more time with your friends, as long as your friends are not actively super harmful, you will keep them at the company, because being there together was the entire point.
Many people spend 8 hours a day at work. Spending 8 hours a day with your friends can make a huge difference in your quality of life. (And don't confuse it with being friendly with your coworkers in an average company. The difference is, in the average company, your friendship is a hostage to the company.)
> Similarly, there's a version of modern friendship
> that feels like dating around, especially because
> it's extremely easy to meet new people these days.
I feel like most people in my generation either define themselves fully by their careers, or they are scrambling constantly to make ends meet.
It's hard for me to find people around my age who have free time when I have free time and personalities or lifestyles that align with what I want out of friends or life.
I imagine a lot of people are in the same boat.
Maybe we lived in a few anomalous neighborhoods.
Of course we have extremely little in common now so I rarely talk to him. I have better things to do. That is a conscious decision. It has consequences.
I am fascinated by the idea of risk pooling and companies like Pando that make this process simple. I think it's a great fit for groups of ambitious tech young folks, not just as a way to either reduce risk or capture increased upside, but also as a way to ensure that you will always have a group of extremely competent people looking out for you, even if it's out of self-interest. There are programs (OnDeck, Interact, and others I'm sure?) out there that to bring together groups of ambitious young people in order to build support networks, find co-founders, etc. but to my knowledge none of these programs give the participants any economic interest in the outcomes of their peers.
I went to Cal and the best thing about going to school there was the friends I made. I spent a lot of time with people who were clearly extremely talented and I (selfishly) always wanted to be able to ride their coattails if I could. The most common way to do this, of course, is to invest in their start ups. But even just 5 years ago, this was _much_ harder than it is today. First off, I didn't have any money, and even if I did, I certainly didn't have enough to write the $25k minimum check that most founders required, and even if I had _that_, I didn't meet the income thresholds for being an accredited investor and there were no alternative paths to certification.
This is less of a problem these days since younger folks can become an accredited investor through alternate pathways, and you can invest in startups at much lower thresholds thanks to products like AngelList's Roll Up Vehicles[0]. Yet, you still have to be invited to invest and I've been continuously surprised about how few of the founders I know want to bring non-strategic or non-famous people (aka their friends) onto their cap table.
Another aspect is that startup investing only allows you to ride along with your founder friends. What about your friends who join early stage startups, or breakout unicorns? Everyone wanted to hire engineers from Cal, and the Law of Large Numbers meant that it was inevitable that one of your classmates would be engineer #6 at Stripe or the first hire at Notion. This is almost as risky as founding a company yourself, but there's really no way for me to join a friend on that ride without an actual risk pooling structure.
[0] A product brought to the forefront by a contemporary of mine I met at Cal whom I think the world of, Sumukh Sridhara, and my #1 pick if I were to choose a group to risk pool with
Rather than imagineering "antimemes", why not use the working definition and body of "anti-memes" a la r/antimeme so that the only content which gets spread is satire about spreading memes?
Edit: clarification