I have empathy for those who are going through hell right now but I’m just pointing out that your assessment of “nearly everyone” is way off base.
The news is a bad example because they are clearly going to focus on the places that were hit the hardest. It’s not a very good story to say “everything in X area is absolutely fine”.
There was only two pumps available in all of whatcom county, from what I saw. Even the harbor fright was out of everything.
Btw if you don't have a pit to put a sump pump in, you want a transfer pump that self primes. The prices are insane right now, but generally $60-100 for 300GPH 100VAC. If you're willing to be careful and mitigate damage to dirt from water, you can dig a hole for a 5 gallon bucket and drop a sump pump in it. You might have a wee bit of standing water under your house but it's better than 3" of water.
My house is 6' above grade, and 3' above the pad, so I don't worry much, once when it rained 28" in three days there was 3" of water on the road out front but I didn't need to go anywhere. A couple days later I did a drive about and so many people had their homes flooded near the farmlands.
Stay safe and pay attention to your local authorities about closures and warnings, and don't cross water on the road, especially if you've never seen the road dry. A large flooding can wash away the road, too, so just stay off the roads if you can!