At least make the screen not show all green or something automatically
If the automation is working the services will be up. When an incident is happening it's because something is significantly broken, and automation won't properly understand what is and is not working.
For instance, lots of follow-on alarms might be firing for what are not actually issues with the things being monitored: As an example, I would imagine that datacenter temperatures and fan speeds dropped due to the incident, which might cause automation to suspect a facilities issue, but announcing a facilities issue would be misleading.
Or metrics around instances live might be tanking as autoscaling groups start downsizing. This would not be an issue with the autoscaling service, and automatically announcing an autoscaling outage would again be misleading.
In an incident, taking the available data and reaching a conclusion about what is broken and what are effects is something which requires skilled manual effort and is error-prone.
The broken ones is how I usually do it.
The automation doesn't need to do that, it doesn't need to analyse the situation. It needs to communicate "Hey. Our systems have seen this and have pinged humans, bear with" rather than "nope even though half the internet is down rn, it's all good baby"
Make a green tick a blue questionmark or something. It doesn't even need to admit fault, it just needs to not be useless. My goal visiting the page is to get a link I can send clients "Updates will be posted here". Nothing more.
Also if you're hosting your monitoring system on the same system it's monitoring you've just completely missed the point. At least use a different region within your cloud provider, better would be completely different provider. I'd even go as far as using different domains/TLDs to host the page if I was Google sized
The status page will always lag the outage. It's not a conspiracy.
20 minutes seems pretty reasonable to me.
Now, I'm on Azure, but it seems like from the comments the situations are similar. So, instead of an automatically updated status page that would help engineers do their jobs, we get a status page that isn't accurate, and customers have pull teeth to get a service credit where/when one is due. And it seems like you can have the cake and eat it too here: while IANAL, a footnote in the SLA or the status page that "this is a machine estimate and not reflective of what goes into the SLA" should do it, no?
I might at least hold out some chance that Google Cloud will write an interesting PM, which is something Azure would never do IME.