There are different cadences and roles in play here.
Cadences:
Distribution - e.g. Ubuntu 21.10, 22.04; RHEL 8.4, 8.5, ..., 9
Library - e.g. simplejson 3.17.4, 3.17.5, ..., 3.18.0
Language - e.g. Python 3.8.0, 3.9.0, 3.10.0 (This makes Python particularly annoying because for a C project it shouldn't matter if you used gcc 8 or gcc 9 when producing binaries, but with Python it very much matters which version of Python you run with)
Application - e.g. Gimp 2.8.22, ..., 2.9.0
Roles:
As a sysadmin you want to use the distro package manager to install tools for administering your system so that you can connect to wifi, monitor resources, etc.
As an application developer you want to talk to the language specific package manager so that you can use the latest versions of libraries so that bugs are fixed, and you're not shackled to people using RHEL 6 or 7.
As a Debian/Fedora packager you want to talk to the distro because that is required if you want to submit an application upstream to support users who want everything in the distro package manager.
As an application packager you may want to talk to the distro because of the above, but you could also target flatpak (or snap) so that you can use all the latest libraries without worrying about packaging for slow moving distributions.
As an end user you want to use the distro package manager because that's your embedded mental model and workflow. But you should definitely consider using flatpak (or snap if that floats your boat) so that you can use the release stream wherein the libraries are unpinned from the underlying distribution's cadence.
As an end user you should never need to deal with the language specific package manager to install applications or libraries. If you need to install using the language package manager (npm, gems, rocks, cargo, pip) then the application has not really been 'distributed' or 'packaged' imo. If you're doing this, you're off-piste trying out new stuff.
There are more details and a great conversation that can flow from this, but language specific package managers are not the antithesis of package management and supplement it; just not for the 'end user' role. Well, yes for the 'end user' role, just not directly.