My reasoning is that all their offerings are geared toward the edge, and while it's nice to support relational databases as they currently are, it seems to counter why you'd build on Cloudflare's edge to begin with.
This seems more to be suggesting that I should not pursue an edge-based architecture and stick with containers instead.
If I'm going to be using workers, I'm already giving up a ton of capabilities possible on a native OS. In return, I'd hope for something wild, like a fire and forget global relational database.
If my original ask was too tall an order, I think a global GraphQL service would fit nicer with their current stack and offer most of the same benefits as direct database access (i.e. schema as a service accessed over http).