Still not sure what caused it exactly. Lockdown made me get some control of my life, schedule it on my terms and it was liberating. I literally felt lighter and more at ease, back to balanced normality as some might put it.
I'm afaid I still have no full grasp of what is going on in my own mind and body. At least not in terms that would be scientifically acceptable.
I want to make sure you don't have any lingering feelings of ambivalence or shame from that conclusion: Long commutes take a lot out of everyone (or at least the average person). It's one of the most consistent happiness findings.
- "we find that people with longer commuting time report systematically lower subjective well-being." [0]
- "Couples in which one partner commutes for longer than 45 minutes are 40 percent likelier to divorce." [1]
- " a person with a one-hour commute has to earn 40 percent more money to be as satisfied with life as someone who walks to the office. " [2]
You're not weird, and it's certainly not your fault. As we all get back into normal life, I want to make sure that we're clear on that. Maybe you have to do it, and we all have to do painful things, but it's not your fault that it sucks.
[0] https://ideas.repec.org/p/zur/iewwpx/151.html
[1] https://slate.com/business/2011/05/long-commutes-cause-obesi...