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Comment by jacobr1 | Hacker News Reader

The OP pivoted to restaurant service. In this case, I'm paying for the experience of nice meal. Having a pleasant server is part of that experience. Nobody has a perfect day, everyday, but someone performing this kind of service should genuinely enjoy serving people. If the server actually disdains helping (non-asshole) diners have a good meal, then they probably shouldn't be working in a restaurant. There should be no need to fake friendliness, hire friendly people.

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> Nobody has a perfect day, everyday, but someone performing this kind of service should genuinely enjoy serving people [..]

Q: When you arrive in a restaurant and your server pitches up and says "Hi, how are you?" in a super-bright, ultra-cheerful way, do you immediately think:

a) wow, they genuinely enjoy serving people or b) they've been told/taught to greet customers that way, _every single time_

That question doesn't even enter my mind unless it's a lot more extra than usual. As an example, Chik-fil-a's insistence on having their staff respond with "my pleasure" to "thank you" feels exceedingly weird.

If I have to think about the staff's conduct, good or bad, usually that means something is wrong.

Reminds me, a few years ago I went to a moderately fancy restaurant that prided itself on having an extra festive and informal atmosphere (but also really good food). The servers basically join you at the table as if they're you're mates and have small talk with you while you're ordering, our waitress actually downed shots of vodka with us at some point.

It was obviously part of the job and nothing personal, although we were nice and not assholes in any way. Some people find it super cool, I just found it the most fake bullshit ever, and really hope they weren't actually forcing their staff to drink with customers but rather encouraging or just allowing it.

I find chitchat and small talk with the restaurant staff to be exceedingly creepy. As an introvert, I take it as a symptom of abusive management.

It can go either way. There are certainly are creepy demands from bad managers. But there also are extroverted people that like to talk. They like to talk so much, that as an introvert myself, I find it exhausting. But that doesn't mean they are being coerced. That is just how that style of person is wired.

There are plenty of extroverted people in service industries that just plain like talking to people. I'm not one of them, I'm an introverted engineer type like many others here on HN. I shouldn't work as a server. But that kind of person most certainly does exist.

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