I've never quite understood the idea that a paternalistic colonial power is better simply because it is more stable. I would much rather take part in an civil war than live under the subjugation of some colonial oppressor.
Presumably you were raised to think you have an impact on the world; many people don’t feel that way at all.
Many people wouldn't mind living under an oppressor who only imposes their ideologies/religion/way of living on you. e.g. the Mughal empire in the subcontinent might have imposed their religion in many instances but they treated the country like their own home. It is the stunted growth and several famines under the British empire that made many regions more prone to extreme poverty and conflicts.
Often enough rulers are exploitative regardless whether they sit in London and fill their pockets or in the country's capital.
This is why colonial states tended to be far more brutal than normal dictatorships: ultimately, they don't need to convince anybody that their rule was legitimate, because their core support is global, rather than domestic.
But it's a moot point anyway, empires fall cause they aren't sustainable not because they aren't fair. The choice wasn't "stable colonial empire vs unstable independence". The choice was "keeping the obviously dying empire alive for a few more years at increasingly high cost or independence". Neither choice offered stability.
I lean towards a paternalistic colonial power because the odds of me and my loved ones living is much higher. Living in a civil war (and I admit that intensities of civil wars vary) seems like a more dangerous gamble.
Has this ever existed?
Genuine political instability is extremely inconvenient and makes the recent supply chain issues look simple; suddenly it matters which faction controls the port, the roads, the police, and so on.
Most people don't want to live in hell. Most people (especially women, children, elderly, etc.) don't feel empowered by the prospect of a civil war, as you seem to. And looking at post-colonial histories...all too often, the civil wars, military coups, large-scale ethnic violence, etc...they never really end. Or only "end" as long as some ruthless dictator lasts.
I kid.