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> When you’re communicating with your team, lead with context and reassurance. Never message someone on your team, “let’s talk when you get a minute”. That’s void of information and scary as heck!

This should be engraved on a plaque in every office building.

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I always respond with "Yep, have a minute right now" regardless of what's happening.

I'm not going to do more work if I am going to get walked out so work stops _right now_ to resolve the vaguery, so in the end there is a net loss in productivity when the message could've been, "Need to chat about <x>, no rush", then we can minimize context loss for 2+ people.

Basically the same length but clarified.

I just say "sure, what about?" If I'm curious.

When they stonewall, you know it's time to look for another job.

There’s a pretty simple fix for this too: “do you have a moment to talk about ____”? And if it’s benign, you can just say “I want to ask about ____”.

These days when you have chat as an alternative to saying it out loud with other people around, you can afford to tell someone what negative thing is coming: “hey when you have a moment let’s talk about how you handled _____”.

Then they know what’s coming. It might be unpleasant, but it’s not spooky.

And if you have to drop the news without a prior hint, regularly scheduled meetings can do that without people having their guards up.

I take it a step further. I try to write out the content of a meeting in an email so we're all on the same page and can skip the information sharing part. My meetings with my team tend to be very short.

Amen. My manager scheduling an afternoon meeting with title "Very important information to share" without no info and sending it early in the morning, means I will barely work and will spend the day wondering what it is. 50% is due to my anxiety, 50% due to curiosity.

I'd like to be able to follow this advice always, but what about when, say, you're scheduling a call with your manager to let them know you're leaving the team? Do I lead with context by titling the meeting "Discuss my Departure"?

When I announced I was leaving to my team, I titled the meeting "Future of (project name)"

IMO, that sounds super spooky!

Another way of doing it is on the Daily Standup, when the topic moves on to Anything else?

Most managers I've had appreciate being told individually. If there's any chance at all you'd take a counter offer, you should let management know privately. Theyre less likely to counter if you're news is known publicly.

(Imo never take a counter but always listen to one. That's valuable market information)

6 years later and I definitely regret taking a counter offer.

Once you've announced your intention to leave, even just privately, it changes your relationship. Accepting a counter-offer is just going to leave things awkward.

Very awkward I'd say. A counter offer is just adding insult to injury, e.g. why was is not offered with salary adjustments earlier.

In my experience only two scenarios offer a substantial raise in pay: Switching jobs or Getting a new role/title.

Somehow just doing your job well is not enough.

I’d usually first communicate that in an email where you express your appreciation and briefly explain why you’re leaving, along with your last day.

Then the manager will usually schedule an exit interview for the report (or, if you’re at a bad company, fire you on the spot).

Eh, when I left my last company I felt it was important to deliver the news in person. I had been with my manager 3 years and an email didn’t seem right.

Having been both an employer and manager giving and hearing "major" news (departure / restructuring, etc as is being discussed), I'm torn. On one hand, we are conditioned that its important to deliver news in person and not hide behind email, and I agree with this - it's much more collegial to have a conversation.

On the other hand, I don't react well to having news spring on me. My heart can race, I need some time to think through it by myself in order to be ready to discuss it rationally. I doubt I'm the only IT person in this boat. And likewise, if I'm delivering bad news, I end up spending more time worried about reactions that properly explaining myself. So a note in advance, to break the tension, could lead to a more effective conversation, vs. surprising someone. I understand there could be legal reasons why you'd have to terminate someone in person, but outside of that, it's nice to give people time to consider what they'd like to discuss before pulling them into a discussion.

This is why I generally treat stuff like that as a two-meeting problem.

The first meeting I don't beat around the bush, I get to the point within 60 seconds. I explain what I need to explain, and don't really leave them a chance to feel like they need to talk.

I finish up by telling them if they have any questions right now I'm totally happy to answer them and discuss, but I'm scheduling a follow-up meeting at $earlyTime tomorrow so they can sleep on it and we'll check in and have a follow-up conversation. And also that if anything comes to mind late tonight, they wake up in a cold sweat, whatever, to give me a call and I'm happy to talk whenever.

Because yes, even the most composed people I've worked with have been thrown for a loop by stuff like this and the first meeting is never really a productive two-way conversation. I just try and make it make as much sense as possible and don't take anything personally, and then have the real conversation about it the next day.

I did it in a 1:1 call, just... "hey, just letting you know I'm gonna hand in my resignation."

Funnily enough my boss had the same idea so we were both informing each other that we were leaving, in the same conversation.

I have seen situations where the person was immediately escorted out, but it was for competitive security purposes. They still got paid for their 2 weeks. That seems fine, if a little paranoid.

This seems normal for employees with privileged access. Give them a two week vacation on their way out.

Gardening Leave.

Don’t lead with “ I have some bad news”. My manager thought I was dying or something so in the end I guess they were relieved.

Just call them without setting anything up or if you’re in the office pull them into a immediate quick chat.

Your manager will know that you're probably resigning when your ask for their time without specifying a subject. They're paid to know that and react appropriately. Don't worry about it.

As silly as it sounds, I use the technique of using of using _really_ informal language to avoid spookiness

"Wanna see somthing cool?" "Lets shoot the shit after this" "Yo, you wanna hang for a minute at 4"

Unfortunately, for people that don't know you, this can be spooky to the other person while reassuring yourself. If you can be specific and provide context, you can prepare the person to engage you much faster and more effectively.

"You'll never guess what happened. Hit me up to find out more"

if it works for headlines, why not messages to your co-workers?

Great. Clickbait meeting announcements, just the thing we need to reach the next level in this game of Corporate Dystopia.

Four secrets to managing reduced workload, as discovered by a Mom.

"Three things you don't know about your future. yet. see me at 4 for more details"

"This mother of 4 earns over $4000 a week from home!"

Why can’t you just say what the topic is ahead of time? It’s still not any better, just more bro-y

That is just spooky and creepy. If you are in a position where you can fire people, they will know it.

Amen. I automatically assume that an all-hands meeting (one that isn't part of a quarterly schedule, announced months in advance) without context is about layoffs and start looking at my resume.

At one of my jobs we had SO MANY of these all-hands meetings quickly scheduled 10 minutes ahead of the start time... It gets too stressful after a while!

Also your time is too important to be wasted by people who don’t come to meetings prepared.

A meeting without agendas or context are often wasted and longer than needed. I constantly remind anyone that I plan meetings with to let me know an agenda so I can bring solutions or useful information. Sometimes preparation is nothing more than having time to think about a topic in advance.

The problem often stems from [easily distracted|poorly motivated|time poor] people using meetings as a way to force their attention to a topic.

I have a few clients who are so bad with this now that I simply decline their meetings and force them to collect their thoughts into email in their own time.

Except when layoffs are imminent, then you see the messages mentioned in the article.

Another 'spooky' indicator is if your manager texts you with a similar urgent message.

But i wholeheartedly agree that spookiness should be confined to layoffs.

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