Sounds very similar to this article[0]. This article helped me understand how to relate with people who are going through a rough situation.
[0]: https://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-xpm-2013-apr-07-la-...
[0]: https://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-xpm-2013-apr-07-la-...
in that moment who are the people in the circles around me. and in whose outer circles am i?
in a married couple the partners are usually supporting each other. so they are in each others outer circles.
if my wife had a rough day then her circle takes precedence, and it's my job to comfort her. if i had a rough experience then i seek comfort from my wife. now my circle matters more for the moment.