- React is not a framework /Angular is a framework
- JQuery is not a framework / Ruby on Rails is a framework
The fundamental difference between a framework and a library is that a library is passive. It provides reusable code that sits there waiting for the consuming application to call into it.
A framework takes the opposite approach. Frameworks apply the "Hollywood Principle" (don't call us, we'll call you). A framework is a skeleton application already developed for you, having made fundamental design and architectural decisions. It does not exist to get out of the way but to take control and do the driving for you. The idea is that you provide the unique, domain-specific behaviours that are specific to your application and delegate as much as possible of everything else to the framework.
This is a feature, not a bug. Frameworks exist to give you as much scaffolding, bootstrapping, internal APIs and up-front design decisions as possible.
That appeals to developers because it speeds up development time. But it trips a lot of developers up when they don't understand the internals and design decisions of the framework they are using. If you approach a framework with design paradigms in mind that do not align with the framework's underlying decisions and architecture, then you will feel like the framework is getting in your way.
The relationship between a framework and an application built with a framework is very much a marriage. The choice of which framework to use, and whether to use a framework in the first place, is a crucial architectural design decision that must be made carefully. If you make the wrong decision then you would be right to rip out your domain specific code and start over.
My point is there is no such thing as a framework that "stays out of the way." That would be a library.
There is nothing wrong with not using a framework and using libraries instead. My main problem with React and the React ecosystem is that this fundamental distinction between libraries and frameworks is not recongized by React developers and the community. They treat React like a framework when it isn't, complain about Angular being "too opinionated" not recognizing what those opinions have to offer, and then proceed to pull in a million different libraries thinking they're working within a framework while doing the exact opposite and putting next no thought into fundamental front-end application architecture.
I come from the era of Java OOP frameworks like Spring MVC and front-end frameworks like Ruby on Rails. That's why Angular appeals to me - because I understand what a framework is, what to expect from a framework, how I would go about designing my own and what to look for when choosing one.
If you don't then any framework will feel oppressive. The best thing you can do at that experience level is to learn as much about system design as possible, read a book like Building Application Frameworks (Fayad, Schmidt & Johnson), and think about how your ideal React framework (if one existed) would look. Then you will understand the different opinions of different frameworks and will have well informed and defined opinions of your own.