Hacker News Reader

I find not caring about what people think ends up hurting my personal relationships. I have to try really hard to be aware of my identity and how that fits in with the people around me. Naturally I am aloof. Is that what this article is saying I should be?

View on HN

I think identities are layered. Perhaps underneath your day-to-day persona, you are aloof and solitary, but what's beneath that? Perhaps if you explore where that comes from and try to understand it, you can find a way to engage with others and feel true to yourself. After all, a belief like 'I am aloof', is exactly what the op is advising against. You aren't aloof. You aren't anything except what you decide to be in any given moment. Your aloofness is a box of your own construction.

Thanks. I think it's a matter of getting out more. You're right, we can choose what we want to be. It may just take some time to get there. :)

Reply on news.ycombinator.com