I recommend reading “ Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It” by Chris Voss if you are interested in conversation tactics.
Your parent comment seems to be talking more about summarising someone else's point in your own words, which is a deeper reflection on what someone means, and an even stronger signal that you're actively listening. (That summary is what gets you a "that's right" in the terminology of Voss. Mirroring is used to get your counterparty to expand on what they're saying, not just go "that's right.")
E.g. you are on a business meeting and your counterpart just took his glass of wine and sipped. Mirror it and sip your wine a few seconds later. Or do it with your hot date.
Mirroring works. Most of the time.
As apparently does using someone's name. Most (not all) people like hearing their name. Try to find out if they like or dislike hearing their name and either use their name a lot or very very seldomly.
I.e. for most people even in a 1 to 1 conversation say "Thank you Brent" and not just "Thank you".
If you’re pitching me your new product you get one “that’s a great question” and one ridiculous insertion of my name before you get a hard no.
Coincidentally these crappy tactics usually go with crappy products so it’s an easy win.
I think that can work in text.
(Or repeat the things you want to hear more about. And s/he will tend to understand and talk more about that.)
On a side note I found the book to be interesting, and I used few of his techniques to negotiate price of my now current house.
Sounds like a candid camera experiment waiting to happen
Anti mirroring the interviewers / recruiters during an interview
Which can be the last things, or not.
It's not enough to be a parrot -- one also need to understand the other person's perspective: what among the stuff s/he said, does she care the most about
(At least how I remember it)
Summarizing what they said (show you understand it) but like you're just now discovering the truth behind it - together with them.
The only sales technique that's really stuck with me.
well, that might be conversational mirroring, idk, but mirroring is a body language phenomenon, where one person crosses their arms, then the other does, one crosses legs, and the other one does, etc.
it's something people do naturally, unconsciously, and it indicates agreement.
then, it is suggested by salesman types, one should engage in a conscious (cynical) version of it where you mirror somebody on purpose, to make them think that you are in sync with them.
Or are you talking about my comment? In that case I'm quite confused.
E: ok this is amusing. I found this article: https://blog.blackswanltd.com/the-edge/how-to-get-buy-in-sta....
- Ask a "no-orietated" question
- Go silent (Effective pause so they can answer)
- Follow-up with a calibrated "what" or "how" question
- Repeat as necessary
This feels very similar to my default communication style, so it's funny to see it documented like this.
“Ah okay, so ingress hits our service named BigMouth, which… acts as a load balancer and proxy essentially?”
I wrote a little review + gist here: https://nts.strzibny.name/learning-negotiation-never-split-t...