Ask HN: Parenting Advice

Hi HN, this might not be the right topic for this forum. But i thought i will ask anyways, before I go get chewed out on StackOverflow or Reddit. our son who turned 13 was diagnosed in the Autism spectrum when he was 4. Fast forward he has grown up to be an extremely smart/capable mostly polite individual with some OCDs. His obsession with a topic sometimes drives him to extremes and he likes to keep on discussing his favorite topic despite the opponent having given him sufficient social Cues that they are ready to move on. This upsets him real bad. Resulting in tantrums, throwing stuff, verbal abuse. He is getting home-schooled for the most parts by his mom and me, and goes to a homeschool supplement only for social interactions. I can only imagine how that is coming along for him. This behavior is starting to impact myself and my wife.

But I wanted to request for specific tips from dads out there with teenagers with anger management issues(usually an autistic trait but neurotypicals also share some of these obstinance traits). How does one defuse a potentially volatile situation and better yet how do You engage with them without provoking them? I like having these discussions with him and am open to them, just not for hours together. And any good resource on general parenting tips(books, Youtube videos/talks) are much appreciated.