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Comment by Ensorceled | Hacker News Reader

I have to say, this example did make me switch my view of the author from some one who wasn't afraid to ask the "stupid" questions to being either a deliberately "just asking questions" asshole who likes to fuck with people or, to be more charitable, someone with a bit of a spectrum disorder.

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I think it's better to be a bit more charitable here indeed.

I also found it striking how the post is emphasizing how important transparency in asking questions is which might or might not reveal the intelectual qualities of the person asking, but then failing to be that transparent towards both the clerk and the reader of the blog post about the internal thought process.

If one would like people to learn, enlighten them. :-)

I have encountered both, I'm sort of leaning towards being charitable since the "just asking questions" crowd tends not to write articles about their behaviour!

That lack of transparency seems to be a theme. I have difficulty with blood draws as well and I have never encountered a health care professional that didn't immediately switch to "ok, which arm is usually best" mode.

I've seen people getting a blood draw that the nurse wasn't willing to listen to. They'd tell them what usually happens, and how it goes best, and the nurse would ignore them.

In the end, every single one of the patients was correct. Anyone who typically had problems with blood draws knew their problems well.

Yes, most nurses listen. But there are enough out there that don't that I've seen it multiple times.

I've said nurses, but I don't actually know their professions.

> I've seen people getting a blood draw that the nurse wasn't willing to listen to. They'd tell them what usually happens, and how it goes best, and the nurse would ignore them.

Fair, it could just be my experience as a middle aged, white male coming into play here.

Curiously, the best way I found to get past mental roadblocks, is to simply ask questions.

I ended up with hundreds of parking tickets, for all different makes and models of cars.

I quickly learned you get nowhere telling someone over the phone the ticket isn't yours because it's for a completely different make and model.

I simply asked questions.

What is the make and model on the ticket?

What is the make and model of my registered car?

Oh, they are different, why do you think that is?

Questions are sneaky.

>someone with a bit of a spectrum disorder.

I'm surprised I had to scroll this far to see someone suggesting this, since it seems extremely obvious to me that this is part of the case. It's becoming fairly well-documented that one of the primary differences in people on the spectrum is a difference in communication style, which anecdotally seems to be more direct and less apologetic or prone to "superfluous" verbal (/nonverbal) contextualizing.

With the prevalence of people on the spectrum in STEM, it's no surprise that you'd see it here, and indeed looking at the comments you can see quite a few people talking past each other about what OP "should" say with what is clearly a mismatch in communication style.

>> someone with a bit of a spectrum disorder.

> I'm surprised I had to scroll this far to see someone suggesting this, since it seems extremely obvious to me that this is part of the case.

The whole thread has currently 1471 points and 681 comments. I seem the be the 4th person realising, that the whole discussion is about "communication advices given by someone fighting the spectrum disorder". I don't know wat to say.

I think the problem is that there are really three people this behaviour would apply to:

1. Someone with a spectrum disorder.

2. Someone who enjoys dicking around with people.

3. Someone with a spectrum disorder who enjoys dicking around with people.

I'm trying to figure out if the person is in group 1 or 3. If you encounter a few people in Group 3, it's then harder to see people in Group 2 in a good light.

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