I highly recommend the show "The Last Kingdom" on Netflix as it covers exactly this!
There's no reason to believe that Æthelflæd was captured by vikings and impregnated by Erik Thurgilson before marrying Æthelred. Or that Æthelred was any more a misogynist than any other 10 century christian king. However, we can be pretty sure that Uhtred the bold wasn't even born at this point, never mind Æthelflæd's lover.