> If you want a transactional, consistent datastore you are gonna have to put a lock on something while writes happen. And if you want consistency it means those locks need to be on all systems in the cluster.
FWIW, it's not as bad as that sounds. There are traditional locks, and there is optimistic locking. If a there are two conflicting transactions, a traditional lock detects this before it happens (by insisting a lock is obtained before any updates are done) and if there is any chance of conflict the updates are run serially (meaning one is stopped while the other runs).
Optimistic locks let updates run with lock or blocking at all, but then at the end they check if the data they depended on (ie, data that would have been locked by the traditional mechanism) has changed. If it has they throw it all away. (Well, perhaps not quite - they may apply one of the conflicting updates to ensure forward progress is made.) The upside of this is there is if there are no conflicting updates everything runs at full speed - because there is no expensive communication about why has what lock going. The downside is a lot of work may be thrown away by what amounts to speculative execution.
Most monolithic databases use traditional locking. Two CPU's in the same data centre (or more likely on the same board) can rapidly decide who owns what lock, but cycles and I/O on a high end server are precious. Distributed ACID databases like spanner, cockroachdb and yugabytedb favour opportunistic because sending messages half way across the planet to decide who owns what lock before allowing things to proceed takes a lot of time, whereas the CPU cycles and I/O's on the low end replicated hardware are cheap.
While opportunistic locks allow an almost unlimited number of non-conflicting updates to happen concurrently, their clients still have to pay a time penalty. The decision about whether there was a conflicting update still has to be made, and it still requires packets to cross the planet, and while all this happens the client can't be sure if their data has been committed. But unlike the traditional model, they are never blocked by what any other client is doing - providing it doesn't conflict.