Since you're really skeptical, I'd love to hear your take on what I've done (and been doing) in terms of trying to create an honest system.
The gist is, I scrape Twitter data, filter out spam, affiliate links, etc, and use sentiment analysis to see which brands people actually like. My hypothesis was that reviews are fundamentally a weird human behavior. The real 'reviews' are embedded in normal conversation when you talk to people. With enough data of these signals, you can get a much better picture of what people really think. The results seem to line up basically like an NPS measurement.
https://reviewsignal.com/webhosting/compare has all my data if you want to see how the rankings actually look. Not every company has an affiliate program. Many smaller companies aren't listed because I can't get enough data.