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Comment by e40 | Hacker News Reader

Anyone else disappointed not to hear more about the Sheila interaction?

I think she should have left it out. As anecdotes about humiliation go, it's not much. There's no mention that Sheila publicly shamed her (as the author, by the way, has now publicly shamed Sheila), she just didn't want to be friends anymore. And she's still holding a grudge against her erstwhile friend from when she was 13? People grow apart, especially around major life transitions like adolescence.

As noted in a upvoted comment above - resentment, hate, anger all poison/burn the one who holds it. The stronger it is held, and the longer, the more damage it does.

There is a lot of poison here, and I don’t think it is in Sheila.

It's also the consequence of being shackled to a literary technique common to these long form articles, for authors to write themselves into the piece, in order to make the content more relatable to the audience. It's a form of exhibitionism, where the author has to come up with something recognizable, but not too revealing or truly heart wrecking. Something milquetoast form adolescence will do in a pinch.

I am sure these sort of confessionals used to come across as audacious. Now, it's just a tired trope of the format.

I think the proper form would have been to pause the Sheila narrative at the Edna reveal, and then at the very end of the story, have the 50 years later meeting as the wrapper.

haha, yes, you're right!

fwiw - I also wanted to know what happened there right after their encounter.

I couldn't agree with you more. I usually stop reading this format immediately. Got about 2/3 of the way through.

The humiliation was when Sheila said she was best friends with Edna now. Being public has nothing to do with it, in that incident or at basically any point in the article.

> The humiliation was when Sheila said she was best friends with Edna now.

The "now" is especially important. It implies the friendship they shared was never real. Sheila was just keeping her around while she waited for someone better to be friends with.

I don't think that's implied at all. In particular I don't see any evidence that the "friendship" with Edna was any more real. I think kids are just fickle sometimes.

We're sure that Sheila is the other party's real name?

One consequence of this essay being published in a high-profile literary magazine such as Harper's, whether intentional or not, will be Sheila's sense of humiliation upon reading it.

I bet it's intentional.

My guess is that Sheila has a completely different recollection of the events described, if she recalls them at all.

Interesting you said that - i read the first part, scanned the rest looking for continuation of the story and then searched for 'Sheila'. Really wonder what happened next - was there a reconciliation, did the hurt run too deep, did Sheila even remember or did she think they just drifted apart?

I asked myself how a 63 year old would recognize a childhood friend on the street. My assumption is Sheila found her on purpose, because she had lived her whole life with this burden of regret, and wanted to apologize. I have a similar burden, and occasionally try to look up an old friend, but his name is too common.

What did you do?

Absolutely yes. For me, it somewhat upstaged the rest of the essay.

made me read to the end. brilliant!

Made me stop after searching for her name and not finding it in the rest of the article.

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