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I really want to share this with my colleagues, because it's funny. But I really don't want anyone in management finding out that things like Haystack exist. What a shame.

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That depends on your company culture. We introduced a tool like that and it’s been helpful for both for management and eng teams to start meaningful discussions — e.g PRs are taking long to review (e.g perceived as not high priority), PR sizes are getting bigger (e.g hard for the reviewer), some people review way more PRs than others (e.g bottlenecks), bug vs chore vs feature PR trends, new code vs refactoring trends, etc.

Need to have the right people who are asking the right questions.

Why do you want them not to find out about Haystack?

There is not a single signal that would not be better defined by just asking your devs.

Don't use commit history to measure any sort of performance if you have competent managers who can communicate with developers, and don't accept "devs are hard to talk to" as an excuse.

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