This is a fundamental misunderstanding of what smart contracts do. Every miner runs every smart contract every time something is executed. It would be disastrously expensive to run a server on top of Ethereum.
Urbit's network infrastructure was "reimagined" to use Ethereum for identification.
>Hosting on my own hardware is annoying, hosting in the centralized cloud defeats the whole point.
Is there actually a third option? I'm wondering of the author simply misunderstands Ethereum.