Various Ethereum wallets warn you about excessive fees, and even set reasonable defaults (especially post 1559). Even if they didn’t, Ethereum devs aren’t the same as Ethereum wallet devs and each group has their own opinions about how to handle fees and UX. It’s disingenuous to say that “Ethereum devs don’t care” about any specific issue and you should be more specific about who you’re criticizing.

It’s unlikely that Bitfinex was using a consumer-faci by wallet and they could easily build those checks into their systems.