My friend working in an ISP has cleared the mystery for me - it's Cloudflare's Warp product (a semi-VPN (in the "teleport to other countries" sense, not the original definition)), which can be used for free, and I'm not shocked that it is being abused. Cloudflare has also categorically denied that their Worker product allows SSH connections - it is simply not designed for that, apparently.
So I don't know how to respond to this specifically except that I didn't know Cloudflare offers a VPN (apparently a limited knocked-down one though) and I'm pretty sure that other people in other ASes scan the default SSH port - in fact, I see more and more scans from ASes of cloud providers than residential ASes, whereas five years ago I mainly saw Chinese and Brazilian residential ISPs. This is why I often move the SSH port - it's not that it improves my security posture, just so that the noise in the logs are minimised.