My pooping opsec is weak, I'm learning. Time to start keeping a bottle of bleach next to the porcelain throne. And perhaps one of those webcam covers that slide open and closed on the anus for when I'm on an untrusted toilet.
The truly security conscious will be forced to implement something terrible, something not unlike a bitcoin tumbler... obviously they'll be branded as crazy conspiracy theorists and told that only criminal defecators have anything to hide in the panopticon.