Hacker News Reader

Comment by tailspin2019 | Hacker News Reader

tailspin2019

No one told me this prior to becoming a manager, and I did make this mistake once and immediately regretted it.

It seems like obvious advice, but the circumstances where this sort of thing could happen are described very well in the article.

I revert to humour in awkward situations, like a lot of people, but I quickly realised that there are some things that you can’t joke about when in this position.

Thankfully I don’t think the team member took any offence by it (although how would I know) - we had a good rapport and relationship, but I immediately realised my “joke” could be taken so many different (wrong) ways that I made a conscious decision to be much more careful after that.

Like many things in life, it seems blindingly obvious in retrospect but not necessarily when you’re caught up in the moment.

View on HN

Coming from an individual contributor perspective and watching new managers/poor managers go off on tangents - two others that are advisable to avoid are:

- Avoid all urges to make comparisons between your direct reports to your children no matter how relevant it may seem in your head

- Avoid referring to your direct reports as cats that need to be herded at the start of every meeting

The advice I give is pretty much: treat people like the professionals that they are. If they don't live up to your standards, then correct that through training, dismissal, whatever. But always treat them like the professionals they are.

Apologize, move on and hope for the best. Management is an art and mistakes (in hindsight) are bound to be committed. Never stop learning and don’t be hard on yourself.

You should be all business at work. It is your job after all. Work parties then become hilarious because all the humor is saved for special occasions.

Disagree. Working at a place where you are or can be genuine friends with coworkers is much more pleasant, and you can't be friends with someone if the only time you escape the sterile confines of the 'all business' relationship is at work parties.

Check out Humor, Seriously: Why Humor Is a Secret Weapon in Business and Life (And how Anyone Can Harness It. Even You.) by Jennifer Aaker and Naomi Bagdonas

My sincere thanks for the recommendation.

I disagree - humor is really useful as a communication tool. If you are naturally inclined towards humor, don't suppress it entirely. I've found it useful once in a blue moon to indirectly make the point everyone is thinking but nobody wants to acknowledge. But more generally I've found it useful to put people at ease at the start of a meeting where I need people sharing ideas and feedback.

In my experience, there are two types of humor that should be avoided, which I learned the hard way:

* Punching down (including joking about doing harm from a position of power)

* Sarcasm/cynicism in public channels, especially when it's directed at specific people/teams.

A positive working environment where people can interact as humans do is the grease on the skids of productivity and creativity.

You can certainly have too much "party" in the office. But you can also not have enough.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com