Totally agree, if you want proof of the paradox of tolerance look around HN. In the sake of being tolerant to misogynistic, homophobic, racist, and transphobic posts and comments it has chased away many people leaving more and more the ugliness behind.
Most women, and trans people I know despise and avoid the site at this point. All you have to do is look at the comments any time something even tangentially related to women’s experiences in tech or when tech impacts women to see it.