Hi, aerospace software engineer and flight instructor here. I think you get shot down because the problems just aren't comparable. While I agree that there may be some philosophical transfer from aircraft automation, the environments are so radically different that it's difficult to imagine any substantial technological transfer.

Aircraft operate in an extremely controlled environment that is almost embarrassingly simple from an automation perspective. Almost everything is a straight line and the algorithms are intro control theory stuff. Lateral nav gets no more complicated than the difference between a great circle and a rhumb line.

The collision avoidance systems are cooperative and punt altogether on anything that isn't the ground or another transponder-equipped airplane. The software amounts to little more than "extract reported altitude from transponder reply, if abs(other altitude - my altitude) < threshold, warn pilot and/or set vertical speed." It's a very long way from a machine learning system that has to identify literally any object in a scene filled with potentially thousands of targets. There's very little to worry about running into in the sky, and minimum safe altitudes are already mapped out for pretty much the entire world.

Any remaining risk is managed by centralized control and certification, which just isn't going to happen for cars. We aren't going to live in a world where every street has to be (the equivalent of) an FAA certified airport with controls to remove any uncertainty about what the vehicle will encounter when it gets there. Nor are we going to create a centralized traffic control system that provides guarantees you won't collide with other vehicles on a predetermined route.

So it's just a completely different world with completely different requirements. Are there things the aerospace world could teach other fields? Yeah, absolutely. Aerospace is pretty darn good at quality control. But the applications themselves are worlds apart.