Am I in the super-minority if I say I've unfollowed about 80% of my FB friends? I've never seen a political or outrage post in the last 3 years since I just unfollowed everyone but my closest friends and family.
But the more I saw how FB behaved, the less I wanted to be involved in any way with their business. I ended up deleting my FB account, which even now 3 years later I feel was a huge loss for me. But I just can't do FB anymore knowing how they're driving outrage and political/societal issues in the name of "user engagement".
I wish there were some alternative, but there isn't. It genuinely feels like I've cut myself off from modern city life without it and it frustrates me so much.
Real friends will not require you to use FB and sacrifice your privacy to communicate with them. You might feel a loss, but there are alternative ways of communicating. Get as many friends as possible over to messengers, which are not owned by FB. Give people a call every now and then. Write them SMS, write them e-mail. All of that is better than communication on FB services. Real friends will initiate as well. If you are not on FB, they will have to contact you through other means. If you are not worth the "trouble" or effort in their eyes, then good riddance, you do not need them.
There are other websites, where you can find local groups of people. Some also group you into local areas, so you know anyone around there will be living nearby.
I do not see a problem with meeting worthwhile new people.
"FB is the only way." or "there is no replacement" are an illusion.
(TBH, I never used FB to meet new people, just encourage relationships with people I had met elsewhere and I haven't been on the platform in years)
Relationships are a spectrum, and your friends move around on that spectrum over time. Social media gives you the ability to maintain some kind of connection to people even though maybe at a certain point in time, those friends are distant from you on the spectrum. But that can change at any moment and having that line of communication makes it that much easier to reconnect at any given moment.
Sending a text or calling someone randomly is not always easy to do, especially if it's someone you haven't spoken to in a while. Whereas commenting on a post or replying to a story has much less friction and can result in reconnecting with people you otherwise wouldn't.
I guess you have to be a certain age, being < 40 you aren't going to meet anyone on FB anymore.
FB is what my racist parents use to circle jerk conspiracy theories with their friends in Cabo. Who in their right mind wants that anymore? (This is a rhetorical question, I understand there are still tons of people using FB, presumably because of inertia).
I was a freshman when Facebook was introduced and required a .edu email. I've used it on and off since the beginning. I've made lots of friends there - both local and in other states/countries. It usually comes down to interactions in groups for niche interests. Why is this so striking to you?
I made friends on Facebook years ago. I felt fundamental changes in both the user-base and use-cases that I don't find enjoyable. I assume most people under the age of 40 feel similarly, and those that don't aren't the type of person I'd want to be around.
I'll rephrase: It's not that I assume nobody is making friends on Facebook in this day and age, just that I'm less likely to want to befriend them myself and I was applying this personal assumption unilaterally.
Let's bring this back: Of course there are interesting, worthwhile people on Facebook (presumably you are, and I"m taking time to talk to you). But who cares?
If they're in communities that I'm actively engaging, then I'll find them through those channels. If they're not...I don't care. There are billions of people I will never interact with. And that's fine.
I don't want Facebook. The cons outweigh the pros. This doesn't mean there aren't any pros. I realize now that other people still like Facebook for purposes I don't have.
Or some woman randomly posted that she was going to the movies in like half an hour and would anybody be interested in joining? We became friends from that and ended up doing a lot of things together, and I know I never would've met her otherwise because of how our lives didn't overlap at all before meeting her.
FB can enable a lot of cool meetings with new people that I haven't been able to find anywhere else.
FB is, in the end, a tool. It's what you make of it. If your circle of contacts is tied up in conspiracy Trumpian bullshit, then sure, FB is a cesspool. But I was a part of plenty of special interest groups filled with incredibly friendly and helpful people. It's like a completely different world.
It looks to me like you've got bigger fish to fry than Facebook. It's probably time to give your parents a break.
The world would be better off without them, nevermind me.
That's a hell of a sentence.
Facebook Events is an incredible product.
Because I spend too much time on HN, I was convinced that the correct answer was to delete my FB account. So I did.
But I really missed out on some family interactions, and after about a year I caved and created a new account. But I have been super careful about who is allowed to be my friend on FB. And for the few people I care about who still insist on posting political nonsense, I muted them. My feed on Facebook is basically inert, I only see posts about family things, pictures of grandkids, that kind of stuff. No politics at all. I'm glad to have it back.
I am more careful now to appreciate that HN commenters lean heavily toward the extremes, and do more due diligence in my own decision making to ensure I'm being sensible, not reactionary, when I follow advice that originates here.
Addition/edit: Furthermore I closed my account because I truly and sincerely believe that mass social media has a more negative impact on society than addiction, untreated mental illness, and all forms of abuse (child, domestic, etc) put together.
Yes but when I started unfollowing people who were over sharing political or outrage posts, that included my family, at which point I thought why bother using it at all.
The benefits absolutely did not outweigh the consequences. But, just like any lifestyle change, it took a while to notice all the ways it affected my life.
I would much rather Facebook removed link posts entirely, and also provided an easy toggle option to disable shared content in the feed.
Same thing as in real life, don't willingly subject yourself to toxic people.