> but it's rare that I get to talk about this language

comp.lang.ada, reddit.com/r/ada, irc, gitter, telegram, etc.

> A, B, C, E, H, and J are variables. F is an array. D, G, and I are functions.

That was by design, because when it was designed, ide's like we have now didn't exist so being able to change a variable to an array from a function or vice versa was made easier. There is another reason and that mathematically an array is a function.