Wake Up Sailors, Scurvy Is a Hoax
mcsweeneys.net
mcsweeneys.net
Here is this genius[2]:
> Some who become ill with COVID-19 need to be intubated and placed on ventilators. Intubation is a painful, invasive process where a doctor forces a plastic tube down your trachea to keep an airway open.
Unnecessary intubation likely killed a whole bunch of people especially in the Northeastern U.S. last year.
[1]: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/oh-my-fucking-god-get-th...
[2]: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/a-short-quiz-for-my-stud...
Take this, for example:
> [effects of scurvy] definitely sounds better than occasionally sucking on a lime.
I am sure Ms. Baecht thinks that is a demonstration of supreme intellect.
> You see it now, don’t you? Scurvy is nothing more than a made-up, foreign-fruit-induced plague, and I, for one, will not be silent! I will not be a sheep, er, I mean, I will not be a fish! I am a man! A very, very painfully misguided man, and I swear to you that the juice of a lime will never pass my lips—at least until the internal bleeding starts, and then I’m sure I will go along with whatever old sawbones says. And I definitely want access to that new experimental leech treatment.
Sod off!
I’m just a lowly seventeenth-century British sailor, not some fancy-pants seventeenth-century British sawbones
It's not especially great satire, about on par of McSweeny's usual work. They occasionally aspire to genius, though mostly when they lean in to their academic audience and target them well.
> Certainly, the jury is out on the spread by children, but CDC acknowledges that vaccinated people carry about the same viral load as unvaccinated people, and that fully-vaccinated people are spreading Covid-19.
> (Public Health Officials Drs. Propa and Ganda):
> ANTI-VAXXER! Denialist! Well, maybe vaccinated people sometimes get symptoms, but the symptoms are way, way milder than they would’ve otherwise been.