Your image of socialism is so tainted by state and soviet-style socialism that I think you need to dig a bit deeper into the history of socialism before assuming so much as you do. Bertrand Russell's "The Practice and Theory of Bolshevism (1920!)" is a good start, even if just the introduction. Basically that it's a really clear contemporary criticism of it from other democratic socialists.

It's fascinating how uncomfortable it is for some to even acknowledge the existence of democratic minded socialists, even when we've existed as long as socialism itself (obviously).