>It's a mistake to consider GNOME/GTK as a community project.
You're getting this wrong -- GNOME is very much a community project, but it's one that happens to be heavily driven by designers. Maybe this is unusual for an open source project? The general point with the request is that you can't just try to make a desktop that re-uses some GNOME components while also throwing out everything their designers did, the end result there is that users have a bad time. This is not about making someone conform to anyone's way, this is about distros working with app developers to provide the best possible experience for users. Switching toolkits is not really going to fix anything here, you will run into the same issues with any other toolkit if you try to restyle apps in ways that were unsupported and unintended by the app developer.