EJ: How I Feel today | Hacker News Reader

EJ: How I Feel today

ejroundtheworld.blogspot.com

42 pointspalebluedot26 comments

Here's how I feel about the events:

ABNB reacted overly cautiously to the detriment of their customers and also themselves. They were utterly unprepared and made many missteps and outright blunders --naive, really.

EJ described the harrowing experience. There was sympathy, and there was some disbelief, as well (unfortunately, there appeared to have been some strong-arming too).

ABNB, eventually, after much public outrage and prodding, finally, after severe fall-out, came correct. There was reticence, it appears.

EJ is now pinning the reaction to her statements, at least tangentially, on ABNB. She had me till that. And still has me on board for the stuff before that. However, one cannot publish something, at large, i.e. broadcast it, and think everyone is going to be sympathetic to you. It's naive. The only people one can fault are the respondents.

I'm not saying she brought that onto herself. No. However, it's just part of the deal. It's like buying meat at the butcher's and not expecting it means there's a cow somewhere that will get slaughtered. It's part and parcel.

The reaction to her posting has nothing to do with ABNB, directly. It cannot be pinned on the ABNB donkey. The reaction comes across as appealing to emotion. I think that horse has been beaten.

Consider that EJ is like most people who write anything online, including you and I on this site. We may know that everything we say is, in theory, open to the whole world, but in practice, no one cares. I think she wrote her blog post in that mindset. It's similar to a mindset that, say, you have when writing a comment on HN. Now consider what would happen when seemingly the entirety of the internet is analyzing what you said.

It's easy to say she should have known that her blog is a broadcast medium, but really, it's not most of the time. Most of the time, very few people probably read it. Most forum posts and blog entries get lost amid the noise. I think it's unrealistic to assume that everyone who writes things on the internet that normally gets lost among the noise should be emotionally prepared to be temporarily not lost among the noise.

I'm sympathetic. It's a very reasonable and persuasive argument. Unfortunately, it's one of those things one cannot control -short of censorship.

The same thing happens with people's email transcripts. The same happens with politicians and open mics. Most of the time ill-conceved/or personal emails or rants or candid opinions to an open mic are not picked up and broadcast --sometimes, depending on context, opportunity and misfortune, they are -to lots of regret, embarrassment and perhaps, lawful correction. Occasionally, opportunity.

Basically, to me, they seem inextricable. I cannot/am not able to see a way to separate them in an unmoderated open forum.

My main point wasn't that she should have realized it's a broadcast medium. Rather, realize the medium is subject, by its public nature, to a spectrum of reactions. Some of those can be reactionary and unwelcome. It's part of discourse.

I'd be curious to know whether the Airbnb guys were honest with pg about what was really going on, since pg commented a few days ago on HN: "I've talked to the Airbnb guys and they are already doing everything they could be doing to help this woman."

The tone of some of the comments made by public people (like pg) seemed to imply that EJ was lying, without saying it directly. Assuming that Airbnb's mea culpa about being "paralyzed" is true, I think EJ deserves an apology from some of these people that have characterized her as being less than honest, based on their friendships/personal connections with the Airbnb team.

I like Airbnb (I'm staying in one of their rentals right now!) and I hope that in the end this whole situation makes them more successful.

Everyone bends a little in their own direction but I didn't see anything worthy of the "liar" designation.

Am I the only one that feels EJ is being a bit dramatic about the situation?

I made this throwaway in case I am really just crass and insensitive... but time and time again I see examples of what I call the new "American Dream" - which is to sue someone or some organisation for hurt, pain, and suffering.

Airbnb fucked up. I see that. EJ had a really shitty experience, and I would not want meth addicts to ransack my house and steal my identity.

But what would make her happy? What does Airbnb need to do now?

I have a feeling it involves millions of dollars... because millions of dollars in compensation seems to be the cure for this kind of emotional damage.

I think it's unfair to blame her for a lawsuit you have made-up.

As for being dramatic, people who are coping with PTSD probably look "a bit dramatic" to the outside world.

You don't know if she's coping with PTSD. You and a few others have been throwing that around. Learn your psychology and psychiatry first before you start making your diagnoses.

You're right, I don't know because she has not been diagnosed, nor am I a psychiatrist. But considering her descriptions of what the past several weeks have been like, and the words she has used to describe the events, it sounds to me more likely than not.

My point with bringing this up is before thinking that she is overreacting, consider that she might be suffering from PTSD.

Here are my take-aways from this whole fiasco:

1) If you're in a business where your customers' lives could be seriously impacted 24/7, you must be reachable 24/7.

2) When something goes horribly wrong and far outside any predetermined policy, follow in the footsteps of Derek Sivers, Tony Hsieh, Gary Vaynerchuk, and the thousands of business owners that have come before them and just do right by the customer. Don't worry about setting precedent, don't worry about losing money (within reason), just do whatever you can to show that you truly care. Make sure all your employees know this & give them the freedom to make decisions on their own to help the customer.

3) Don't create a situation where you're "clarifying" what your customer has said publicly and calling into question their feelings.

4) When you screw up (and you will), own up to it in a public way as quickly as possible. Make a big deal about it. Your future customers will appreciate the candor and seeing your commitment to getting things right.

I hope you will come back here in search of answers to the many questions that loom large.

That's an interesting thing to say, especially after recounting the emotional impact the internet trolls have had on her.

It seems she may be struggling with how best to react to her new internet fame.

Hopefully this will be an endcap to the public side of this, at least. Here's hoping she can get what reimbursement she's entitled to and get back to her life.

This will become a textbook example of how(and how not) to handle disasters in the Web 2.0 world. As an aside, I'm glad AirBnB is finally doing the right thing.

Well, she obviously had a trauma and have to recover now, and it will take some time. I hope that they catch the criminals, EJ recovers well and Airbnb learn with their mistakes.

That said, I think we can move on from this history. It is a sad history, but much worst and much better stuff happends every day. It will be the best for us and for her if we just move on.

It was inevitable that something of this nature was bound to occur eventually. The folks at AirBNB should have had better policies and procedures in place to help to avert and react to such situations.

Ouch. They mishandled this badly. I think it's clear by now that EJ could have become an extraordinary spokeswoman for the Airbnb Guarantee; instead, all they get is a single "gratified".

I hate to be that guy, but...

Why should we have every single blog post by EJ on top stories here on HN? Why is "how she feels today" so important and still relevant? She caused all the drama and blamed Airbnb for something she is more responsible about than Airbnb. Airbnb did the right thing after all, some think that it's late, I don't. I'm just pissed about the attention that we give to her words. I won't be surprised if she authors a book to talk about how "Airbnb should have responded much more quickly to my urgent pleas for help, that they should have communicated with more sensitivity, and that they should have taken decisive action to help me feel safe during what has been a desperate time.". Come on, stop blaming them, they didn't make your "integrity being called into question", and your "character publicly trashed". You did.

This being the internet, EJ has received an uncharacteristic amount of sympathy [1]. This is particularly true when considering that no pictures have been posted, so her eloquent writing was the only tool evoking emotional involvement and trust from the reader.

My main issue with this post mortem is that, as you indirectly pointed out, it comes across as a bit self-entitled. Yes, AirBnB was slow to react and set things straight, but they still did the right thing, when they truly weren't obliged to.

What happened to EJ is extremely unfortunate, but it was only marginally AirBnB's responsibility. Her public outcry and the consequent reaction of an anonymous crowd, was even less AirBnB's fault.

In short, it's a sad story all around, and one that can be studied to learn valuable PR lessons. The outcome is as good as it's going to get though, whether EJ thinks it's adeguate or not, so it may not be a bad idea to move on.

Of course she may not be in the right state of mind to come to that sensible conclusion. I truly feel sorry for her, but I won't look forward to "coming back here in search of answers to the many questions that loom large."

1. Deservedly so. Even though, I can't help but suspect that if the blogger was a guy, most people would have invited him to "grow a pair" from the very first post. Nevertheless, it's refreshing to see the outpour of support she has received.

I'd say you are "that" guy. This is indisputably an interesting story even if it wasn't YC's crown jewel (or, one of). This is what many bloggers do...they write about their experiences. Unlike some or even many, EJ was not writing to build HN karma. I think what she has written is plausibly reasonable. It would be easy to nit pick with some of the details.

I think "that" guy trying more to say (and if he's not then I will) that yes, her story is extremely important, and she even mentions some of the benefits her suffering has had, however, it feels more as if she's whining for the attention. Some people don't need an arbitrary, transient number to feel good about themselves ;)

Even if she's blogging about her experience, her feelings aren't relevant anymore, interesting story or not, we shouldn't care anymore, you can easily subscribe to her blog and read her words.

I would never call her names, but it's obvious that she's enjoying all the fame and attention she's getting. God knows when she will stop complaining and thanking AirBnB and admit that they made it up for her generously, even though they were never obligated to.

Some argue that what they did was only out of PR pressure. IMHO, that doesn't make them bad guys, working for your company reputation isn't a bad thing to do.

EJ (and others) are still saying that AirBnB should have responded more quickly, for anyone who knows even the slightest bit about businesses and entrepreneurship, it's certain that this sort of insurance policy can't be done in hours, that needs days maybe weeks and they done it well. Does anyone think they should have shared their working details with her because she's writing post after post to complain about them so they don't sound like they don't care? Some do and that is very naïve actually.

If you're implying that what I said was for karma, you can check my submissions/comments history, I'm more of a lurker here, I don't comment that much and I definitely don't care about karma (less than a dozen comments in 2 years).

Thank you Dysiode, you've nicely clarify my point.

> she's enjoying all the fame and attention

My sense is the complete opposite.

> If you're implying that what I said was for karma

I was not.

I'm not sure you're interpreting things well on this topic.

It's on HN right now because it's an amazingly good and open discussion about how someone who was involved in a PR nightmare feels after it moves from being a story to being something in the past. If you read carefully, there are important lessons in PR and how to do good customer service embedded all around this story. There are lessons on crisis management, and yes, there are lessons on irrational human behavior and responses, especially in terms of how media attention, time and the reactions of others changes people's perspectives.

I've found HN's comment section to be equally full of lessons on irrationality. From the person who is angry that EJ can't be satisfied to the person whose heart was still captured by her original story and unsatisfied by the outcome.

These are how your customers respond when you do something wrong and are disappointed in you. For a site that focuses on startups, these lessons are worth seeing.

Even though I do agree that the _whole_ story has some valuable PR lessons, I don't think that this particular blog post adds any value to this field. The story was worth keeping an eye on for entrepreneurs to take lessons from. But we had more than a dozen articles about it on HN, which is, for me, too much noise.

You said that Airbnb was wrong and disappointing, I would argue that this wasn't mainly their fault, but that's out of our discussion point right now.

Yeah, she's received more than her fair share of sympathy.

ESFP

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