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Comment by w_t_payne | Hacker News Reader

Brexit was an absolute tragedy for my family.

Immediately after the referendum was lost, my children and wife started to experience a level of racially motivated abuse that we had not seen before.

This reached a level where my wife felt she could no longer remain in the country and arranged for us to relocate as a family to mainland Europe.

The move was not kind for me, and soon after I arrived I had a breakdown and our marriage fell apart. I'm now back in the UK, but the place seems strangely unfamiliar and hostile to me; and whilst I am still able to work, all the joy, happiness and hope seems to have drained from this land.

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I'm sorry to hear that this happened to you. Brexit also put a lot of psychological pressure on my wife. She's from a Baltic country, but during Brexit, she'd constantly be asked if she was Polish for no reason at all.

-"Hi, nice to meet you"

-"Hi, are you Polish?"

Nothing against Polish people of course, but it made her start to gradually lose it. Each new instance would bring tears for days

Luckily, it seems Brexit is not on everyone's mind now. Good luck to you, try not to stress out (it's not your fault)

There is a divide between attitudes to continental Europeans in the UK though. I'm British and my wife is Spanish, and although she feels much more unwelcome now it's nothing compared to some of the racially-charged rubbish that I've heard people openly say about people from eastern European countries.

True. I am Spanish myself and feel super welcome, unlike my wife (although I have an American accent which makes it easier for me to disguise I guess). My ears cringe each time I hear things like "Beast from the east", let alone "PIIGS". It's a cultural/media problem

Me and my partner are in the same boat as your wife - we're from the baltic states and when people are curious about our origins, they ask if we're polish or not. I don't really hold it against people, but having to reassert your own ethnicity gets tiring. Most people are not aware of the country I come from anyway.

As a side note of the knowledge the general public holds, it seems like the history knowledge people get out of highschool is severely lacking.

When I lived in the US everyone would automatically assume I was Mexican (I am Spanish), so I totally get how it feels. I remember that some times I'd even say that yes, I was Mexican, just to avoid having to spend any time on it. For example, in the US loads of people think that Spain is next to Mexico. So I'd joke that I went home by train, and if nobody blinked, I'd at least get a laugh out of it. This is a big part of why I love all the Borat movies

I'm Polish and I run into this all the time. Every time I get asked "are you Polish"? Sometimes the asker is genuienly just curious, but sometimes the tone of the conversation somehow cools down when I say yes. Lived here for 11 years and don't think I have much of an accent, but people still ask.

Gosh, that is so terrible, someone noticed your accent and asked where you came from... sounds like the IVth Reich is coming fast !!

I'm Danish living in London (as a software engineer). I have multiple times been assured by Brexit voters that of course I am fine, it's the others that they voted against.

Whether that is other nationalities or other professions, is then left unsaid, but either way it leaves me massively uncomfortable at that point and I usually excuse myself from the conversation.

I'm so sorry to hear this, you have my sympathy. It didn't happen to me, but I can see how it could.

I hope you find a good way forward, good luck.

> all the joy, happiness and hope seems to have drained from this land.

That might have more to do with the 18 months of COIVD lockdown than Brexit.

The referendum was in 2016, 4 full years before covid hit, and as an EU immigrant to the UK I can confirm the same - very soon after the vote it feels like the entire atmosphere in the country changed to be far less welcoming to immigrants.

That is due to spite probably. Making Brexit about for/against discrimination was a serious media mistake in my opinion. I am not from the UK though, but I followed the discussions. I can also understand why people voted to leave.

The COVID lockdown has, if anything, improved matters. With most people staying home, the need to deal with aggression, hostility and abuse on the street is very much reduced.

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