My little girl was born in September 2020 in Chicago, USA, she was diagnosed with heart disease, and as it turns out a really rare genetic condition. She passed away in May 2021.
My family all live in the UK.
My little girl died without ever meeting her granddad, her aunt, her uncle, etc. I had to livestream her funeral to my family/friends.
Added an additional level of pain and suffering, to an already incredibly terrible situation. I feel immense guilt, for whatever reason. COVID would have likely killed my severely immunocompromised child.
In the speech I read at her funeral, I said:
> For the people who didn’t meet her or spent little time with her. I am sorry. I’m not apologising personally, I’m just acknowledging how terrible it must have been to look but not touch. Some had it better than others. Some only got to see her through a screen. There were no winners in this situation, only losers.
I didn't kiss my child's face until the last week of her life.
I really am burnt out from all this, especially with no end in sight.
edit: I appreciate the condolences/well wishes. I wasn't trying to elicit sympathy, I just wanted to give some insight to someone who had no choice other than to do what was best for their child (or so I thought).