omg reading this made me relive that horror I encountered too, of course with pics of the little one.
Now I have 3 backups (of which 1 is just an export again of all the pictures in raw) in 2 locations, using Lightroom, I don't trust photos anymore, and yes on apple filesystems.
My solution was for the LR database to live on local SSD, and the library/catalog on an SMB share on a ZFS server, with weekly backup to AWS Glacier. Other than having to reconnect anytime I wake up the machine from sleep, it works pretty well, and I never have worried about corruption.
Only flaw in the plan AFAICT is that if a bug in LR or the Mac introduce corruption XFS will happily store the checksummed corrupted file. I should probably add ZFS snapshots.