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Comment by sterlind | Hacker News Reader

You're right that conversion therapy doesn't work, but there's at least medication to kill your sex drive so you're not tortured by the temptation. GnRH agonists will null out your sex hormones. And therapy can help you deal with the temptation -- even though it's not a cure, there's techniques like CBT and ACT and other strategies for getting your mind off it. And like it or not, it is your responsibility to get that sort of therapy and get medication.

I do find your username exceedingly tasteless, though.

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I'm not 'tortured by temptation'. I'm not a ticking time bomb waiting to go off.

Is this what people see us as? That we're a constant threat that needs to be managed?

I don't need to take possibly dangerous medication to kill my libido, because I can satisfy my libido through furry cub porn and having sex with adults.

Yes, it pisses me off sometimes that I can't have sex with people I'm actually attracted to. But in truth, being a pedophile doesn't really affect my day to day life. In fact, usually I only think about it when some asshole talks about how "all peodphiles deserve the death penalty" or when some article comes up talking about "pedophiles" (not child molesters mind you) in the context of crime.

You know all my friends in real life and online know I'm a pedophile. My family too. They aren't perverts. They're normal, sometimes religious, mostly straight people. They just know me and know I'm not a threat to anyone.

It's not even a secret, I just don't talk about it all the time, on account of having interests outside of being a pedophile.

Let me tell you something, that I really want you to consider: If you think you don't know any pedophiles, you're almost certainly wrong. One thing I've realized by being mostly public about it is that some of the most unexpected people from my life have come up to me and admitted that they're partially or exclusively attracted to children, but they don't want to tell anyone for fear of retaliation, or being grouped into a box as 'dangerous'. I mean, Jesus, look at Inkbunny, you really think attraction to minors isn't popular?

Unfortunately many people discover I'm a pedophile and that's all they see. They ignore the other aspects of me: That I'm a writer and an artist, a skilled programmer, that I try to be honest and live my life ethically. That I've got opinions and hopes and dreams and plans for my life that have absolutely nothing to do with my sexual orientation.

But instead apparently I'm dangerously mentally ill because I've realized that kids can be sexy. Sometimes I see it as a blessing though. The really interesting people to get to know are the ones who can see past that. Because of this, all my friends are really interesting people.

But I think people would be less likely to do that if they could put on special glasses and see everyone's sexual orientation floating above their heads. They'd be less likely to demonize minor attracted persons if they realized they were talking about their siblings or loved ones. Their friends or coworkers. The people they meet on the street.

Because you are. We're everywhere. You just don't realize it all the time, because most of us aren't monsters.

My username is fucking awesome by the way.

What's the difference between a minor attracted person and a pedophile?

There is none. But even though the term 'pedophile' refers to a psychiatric condition involving children as objects of sexual attraction, most lay people refer to child molesters as pedophiles.

I once had a therapist (with a degree in psychology and a history of treating sex offenders, not that I am one) who didn't realize that 'pedophile' just referred to an attraction. When I told him I was a pedophile he incorrectly assumed I was a sex offender and asked me about the nature of my crime. We had a debate about it until the next session where he said he looked it up and yes, pedophile just referred to the sexual orientation.

If someone who works as a psychologist makes that mistake, it's safe to assume that calling yourself a 'pedophile' makes you a target for every would vigilante out there regardless of what you have or haven't done.

Most people who are pedophiles don't refer to themselves as such, even in communities there are filled with pedophiles, like Inkbunny, because of the negative connotations. They call themselves 'cubfurs' or 'cublovers' or 'shotacons' or things like that. And my close friends and I have our own terminology.

Hence some people have started to refer to as pedophiles as 'pedosexuals' or MAPs (Minor Attracted Persons) as a more neutral term. But I never liked the term myself because it feels too much like the beginning of a euphemism treadmill and I figured I might has well bite the bullet and call myself what I am regardless of if it makes people uncomfortable. (Which I'm sure it does, my apologies in advance.)

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