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Biggest question -- can ETH/BTC completely operate under the table?

There are two things that one needs (in addition to the software, which is free and open source) to connect to the bitcoin peer-to-peer network - Electricity and Internet Connectivity.

Unless states start interrupting either/both, there is no table to be operating under. It just is. It is the table and the chair and the entire economy.

Technically you don't even need an internet connection: https://blockstream.com/satellite/

How are you going to transmit transactions though?

Transactions are pretty small, as long as you have some way to relay data to a party that has an internet connection, you can submit a transaction. The party you submit the transaction to does not need to be fully trusted, worst they could do is not submit it to the network.

That's for sending messages, not money

Messages are money now.

Yes, I think this information hasn't sunk in yet for the majority of people.

You can't send Bitcoin with those messages over those satellites only.

They say you need internet or sms additionally

yes, you could trade crypto for cash. there are some trust issues though (will they run off with the crypto AND the cash?) and the fees are high

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