I feel your pain. I was there too not long ago; slightly different circumstances and reasons, but same idea, and same low feelings.
> I realized that I do not want to work as a team lead anymore
This is essentially what I ran into as well. I've been in the software industry for over 15 years. Over time I became a team lead and continued into management. For too long I had convinced myself this is what I wanted; that it was too much to keep up with tech, managing people was easier. Unfortunately I kept doubling down on this notion until I finally burned out. Sadly that's what it took for me to realize I'm not a manager, I'm an engineer.
> and still our is the most beautiful job in the world
100% agree. I played with the idea of changing industries, but I knew this is where I belong; I just needed a reset.
I decided to find another company where I could start again as a software engineer; no more management. Even if it meant a pay decrease, rejuvenating my mental health was far more important.
> tech interviews suck
Again I agree. Tech interviews on average are horrid. I've been on both sides many times, as interviewee and interviewer. And sadly as an interviewer I've contributed to the suck.
But what I've learned from my most recent endeavor is that this is not true across the board. There are actually some great companies out there with great culture and great interviewing practices. You just need to know how to find them; which involves knowing exactly what is you want.
> people who deliberately use MongoDB as a relational database sucks too
Yep. But it's good that you're able to identify this as something you don't like. Keep that in mind and consider everything else that you do and do not want as part of your job or the company that you work with; and then bring that with you into your interviews. _You should be interviewing the companies and teams just as much, if not more so, than they are interviewing you._
For myself, I knew exactly what I wanted: no management, no team lead, just software engineering so I could get back into the code and recover from my burnout. I also considered any position I found to be potentially temporary; maybe after a year I'd move on again; wherever I landed didn't need to be where I'd be stuck for the remainder of my career.
I went through a lot of interviews, wrote a lot of cover letters, did a lot of coding in front of others. Sometimes I did great, sometimes I totally bombed. But each time I learned something new that I brought with me into the next one.
Fast forward to today (this all happened about 1.5 years ago) and I couldn't be happier. I found a great company that made me realize culture is vitally important and it doesn't matter what the company claims their culture may be, it is inherited top down from the leaders. Realize, though, that this is a two way street as well; meaning don't just expect a company to be a perfect fit without some contribution from yourself as well.
I started over as a software engineer and soon realized there are aspects of leadership I do enjoy and so am now pursuing a path within this company that I can increase my influence as an engineering lead without shifting my role into management.
Admittedly I also have an incredibly supportive wife by my side, helping and encouraging me all along the way. Before I left my previous company, and before I burned out, she could see me slipping and shared this with me, which I wish I had listened to sooner; could've avoided a lot of misery:
"Recognize when a phase, job, a life stage, or a relationship is over and let it go. Allow yourself to gracefully exit situations you have outgrown. Moving on doesn't have to be a catastrophic dramatic event. You can simply chose to move forward with peace and clarity."
Hang in there. It gets better; just own the situation and move forward.