Their biggest issue seems to be that they, and their co-worker, didn't get promotions:
> I am currently far exceeding my “assistant” job description and am also seeking a title/compensation change to reflect the project manager role I’m now performing.
> a friend in my department was told she would not receive a promotion because she is not a “team player.” When pressed, HR and her supervisor mentioned her absence from department-bonding activities.
However i'm not sure that they are indicating the right behaviours for a promotion in their message.
1) They seem to think they should get a promotion without taking part in 'department-bonding activities', however taking part in these 'department-bonding activities' is ultimately part of being a manager in lots of companies (where your job becomes more about setting culture, building relationships and demonstrating the right behaviours).
2) They want a promotion, but are "resolutely firm on never working lunches or doing things outside of work hours". IMO Project Managers in lots of companies can't always have as firm boundaries about work and life as an assistant can, and there is an expectation that if things need to be done, they will stay late and work lunches to get stuff done when it needs to be done. That comes with the pay-packet unfortunately.
3) They think they should get a promotion, but describe the fact that they are seen frantically trying to get everything done in their current role, and tell people there is not enough time to join in on the company team-building activities which they appear to roll their eyes at - however the actual behaviour people should put on if they want to become promoted is to be like a 'swan' - i.e. rather than being seen to be busy and barely keeping up with your work, you are seen as gliding through your workload calmly while kicking vigorously under the water level, and still attending the social events despite having lots of work on because you are able to balance everything.
So it sounds like "I want to get a promotion, however I don't want to do the part of the role that involves taking part in relationship-building activities (other than sending a few instant messages), and won't accept being flexible with my hours or even having a working lunch if we are in the shit".