I started to feel the same way once texting and messaging became common. Having someone call you unexpectedly feels like the equivalent of someone saying "I don't care what it is that you're doing, talk to me right now." I know that's not actually what's going through people's minds, but it feels that way. It's like when someone asks you something over IM instead of over email, even though it isn't time sensitive.
No, it isn't. I'm also Polish and I'll be pissed at you if you call unexpectedly. Like all the other commenters said, a call is a huge interruption, completely uncalled for when there are IMs or even SMS available. Almost everyone I know in my circle understands it and doesn't call unless it's important.
> most of the time I do care more about them than whatever I was doing, because I can just resume what I was doing a few minutes later. Most stuff can be interrupted and resumed without a problem.
You're lucky to have that kind of work. In my case, most of what I'm doing can't be interrupted and restarted like that. And I'm already getting enough interruptions from my wife, kid, family and co-workers, who always have something urgent happening to them every day. I can't handle any more interrupts.
> If this was really important and more important than the thing my friend calls to me with I politely refuse to talk and offer a callback later.
I have a whole set of "quick response" SMS templates available on the incoming call screen, so I can tell you to go away in more or less polite terms, depending on who you are and how I feel.
That's an interesting perspective. I think that explains some people's behavior. I tend to think of IM as in please reply in the next day or so, and email as in please reply in the next week or two.
I'm always telling people to not say hi in an IM and then wait for me to reply, because if I'm busy I'm not going to reply until later, but then you might not be there, and if you had asked whatever you needed in the first message I could be answering it now
So, for a number of years now texting, Slack, or Messenger was the way to be clearer about the intention of only taking a moment of someone's time, which makes it more likely that they'll pay attention. I've been dismayed, as recently as this week, to see on shared screens a red Slack badge that has numbers in the hundreds.
What we really need is much, much better prioritization systems.
I actually get a surge of anxiety because of this lol.
I absolutely love the transcription service for voicemails on iPhone because it means I can easily scan the contents of the messages of people who don't just text after a failed call.