Sounds like a market opportunity for new, non-prudish payment provider.
The problem from the credit card companies' point of view is that "I got caught by my wife" isn't a valid chargeback reason, so the vendor can dispute the chargeback, have every incentive to do so, and that's not a fight Visa want to get into.
Payment processors are required to maintain a certain chargeback rate with the card companies and so that risk gets passed on to the merchants.
This is all exceedingly well documented and a Google search away if you'd like to learn the inner workings of it.