Comment by adamcharnock | Hacker News Reader

Comment by adamcharnock | Hacker News Reader

Parent Full thread

Edit: as has been pointed out, I’ve misrepresented the parent comment. It’s late here, my apologies.

There seem to be a lot of assumptions here that I don’t agree with. So perhaps this comment isn’t for me, in which case feel free to ignore the following.

People seem to add so many values into the mix when it comes to sex work. If these old lonely people paid carers to visit them at home, would that be somehow different? Are these old lonely people somehow exploited because there is sex involved? If they cannot make rational choices because sex is involved then I’d say that is the problem.

Also, where does being able to “have” someone figure into any of this? There is no ‘you must be at least this hot to enter’ scale, people get together for all kinds of reasons. Plus, “have” sounds a lot like possession of someone, which I think we all think is bad? Right?

I think there are a lot of values encoded in the above comment, but I also know it wasn’t intended negatively.

1. I didn’t say old, maybe you misread?

2. I think I’m suggesting some men (the most obsessive and biggest spenders?) would use onlyfans instead of having a relationship. I’m not saying it’s right that a proportion of men become obsessive but it happens right?

3. I’d say a lot of men don’t make rational choices about sex.

1. That’s embarrassing, you’re absolutely right

2 & 3. I agree that a lot of men don’t think rationally about sex, and I think that has various societal causes. But I also think that is the problem here, and that possible obsessive OF use is one of the more minor symptoms.

>a lot of men don’t think rationally about sex, and I think that has various societal causes

Really? I don't think so. My understanding is that sexual activity (or lack thereof) affects hormonal balance and that in turn affects mood. To make a very blunt example, if someone isn't getting any and the fake interaction provided by OF makes them feel better, do we really need to look for a societal explanation? If I give you a painful but harmless electric shock and you try desperately to get away, do I need to posit that it's because you've been culturally conditioned to be afraid of electric shocks?

Eating McDonald’s makes you feel better if you’re hungry but it’s not food.

I didn't say it was a good feel-good, just that that it does make them feel good. I don't think anyone can deny that. If buying content on OF made one feel bad nobody would do it.

It's pretty great if you just buy the burgers though

>where does being able to “have” someone figure into any of this?

The GP said "have relationships with these women", not "have these women".

I clearly should have read that comment more closely before getting on my high horse. Apologies.

To be fair I made heavy refinements to it so you may have read a less cogent version, specifically on the relationships thing! Sorry about that!

Ah no problem! :-)

Reply on news.ycombinator.com