"I Cannot Fathom A Use Case For CSV So I Would Like To Ban Everyone From Using It For Any Reason"

As soon as data has any form of structure to it (and most data does). CSV complicates everything. Even for unstructured data, the problem of escape characters often shows it's ugly head. The moment your data contains a comma, tab, or space, you run into a nasty mess that, in the best case makes your system fail, and in the worst case silently adds corrupt data into the system.

Neither JSON nor XML suffer from that problem and both can easily be used in any scenario you'd use CSV. The only argument against either format is they are a bit more bulky than CSV.