Hacker News Reader

Comment by javajosh | Hacker News Reader

Isn't sex work legal in the UK, and shouldn't that have a damping effect on the incel thing? I mean, it's hard to be enraged to the point of mass-murder when you can get laid for 100 quid.

View on HN

Came here to ask this same question. Amazing how peaceful things are when everyone gets the full Maslow hierarchy experience.

You can jerk off. It is cheaper and it have less moral issues.

Sex work is legal in Canada, for the most part. Didn't stop Alek Minassian.

Illegal for buyers I think.

Incels are a community--if an incel were to see a sex worker, they would no longer be an incel, and would lose access to the community. The real driver of the community is ostensibly access to sex but I think it's really about being in a tribe of people that identify as ugly/failures/losers.

That's not always true as most don't count paid-for sex to break their inceldom. Though some even have trouble paying for sex being that they are so unattractive.

They aren’t mad because they can’t get laid they are mad because they can’t get hot girls to sleep with them for free. If they worked on their careers and charisma they could probably land an attractive girl but I digress.

It’s this strange phenomenon where they claim they desperately want a relationship, but also have ludicrously specific requirements as to what the person in that relationship should be like. Those requirements are often thinly veiled hatred for perceived qualities of the other gender (such as an incel disqualifying nearly every woman for being “sluts”). Incels have adopted a worldview that disqualifies essentially all living humans as valid romantic partners - they don’t want just any partner, they want an impossibly idealized partner.

Heck, there are both male and female incel communities (each claiming they can’t find anybody of the other gender to form a relationship with) which would be funny were it not so grim.

So to your comment: I don’t think it necessarily matters how well groomed or charismatic or conventionally attractive they are. As long as they have that hate of the other gender any potential partner will be rejected.

> female incel communities

In their case, the solution they seem to arrive at is to buy/adopt more cats. Incel men really need to get a similar hobby.

Tbh this essentially just like saying to a depressed person: "have you tried not being depressed?". Of course they could get a girl if they were more attractive.

Maybe. But I think the point is that incels cultures promotes this idea that they deserve some platonic ideal of a pretty virgin girl that just doesn’t, and has never, existed. They are mad because the girls they know in real life don’t want to fuck them and the girls don’t want them because they are incels. If they lowered their standards and put as much effort into improving themselves (in a real world sense) as they did into being hateful online they could probably get girlfriends.

Plenty of unattractive men get girls. The "ugly man/hot woman" dynamic is so common it's cliche. Guys would be surprised how far simple hygiene and a good personality (which includes treating women like people) will get them.

I'm sorry it wasn't clear. I meant attractive as a whole package, not just physical appearance.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com